[Edit: This is one of those posts that I want to get "just right" because the person at the heart of the matter (and by extension who matters deeply and utterly to my heart) really REALLY deserves to be expounded on and gushed over perfectly.  As with any written work, nothing I can spell out here perfectly captures what I'm feeling, and the more I thrash at it, the worse it gets.

SO, take whatever level of head-over-heels enthrallment and utter enamored-ness I manage to convey here, times it by ten, times THAT number by a thousand, step it back precisely one molecule from the point where my very being explodes from containing the joyous rapture in my heart, and that will give you an insight into an infinitesimally tiny fragment of my feelings.]

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I started this blog to talk about how NOT smitten I was.  In fact, I’d say in some ways I was actually parsing through a place where I was unsure of the reality of EVER being smitten again.  I had fought The Dragon, and frankly, The Dragon won.  The princess ran off with the simple soldier, the ogress did NOT turn into a  beautiful maiden, and Prince Charming was dead and buried in an unmarked grave.

And that, was where Dead Charming’s story began…

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I’ve been in some relationships that I wanted to keep secret.  I didn’t want friends, or family, or in some ways even myself, to truly understand the scope of how stupid I’d been by entering into a relationship. Even when the reasons for the relationship, or the progression of the relationship, might have been in-and-of themselves noble or correct; the relationship as a whole was clearly negative and not something I wanted anyone to know about.

A very good friend told me that one of the purest tests of a relationship decision was if you wanted to “shout it from the rooftops” and make sure everyone knew.  I’m a somewhat private person, and I didn’t really grasp what she was saying.  Not truly, not deep down in my core.

The last few weeks have opened my eyes, and my heart, to how a relationship can inspire me…and move me…and lift my perspective of EVERYTHING.  Out there in the blog-o-sphere, is someone who changes the utter fabric of my mind.

Not only did she walk through my gallery and love the pictures I’d painted with my words; but she stopped and looked at the way I approached each piece as I created it, she looked at the hands that held the brush, and she looked into the eyes of the artist before I even stretched the canvas.  She looked into my eyes, past my mask, beyond my defenses, and she loved what she found there.

It started out as simple notes, then brief messages, then letters and eventually hours chatting or talking on the phone.  And every hour goes by in mere seconds.  I swear we’ve already had a lifetime of conversation, and yet there’s nothing I’d rather do than talk with her.  Her intellect, her passion, her interests, her humor…everything about her is beyond my wildest hopes.

That she simply exists in the universe surpasses even my most ridiculous wishes; that she would find me equally desirable is something I have no chance of ever comprehending.  I will just settle for accepting and appreciating that unimaginably awesome gift.

I wish I could say that now it was time for “happily ever after,” but there are still mountains to climb, chasms to cross, and a few evil armies to vanquish along the way.  But she came to me, removed my armor, laid down my lance, kissed me sweetly and climbed upon my horse.  Now we just have to ride, together, into a future we find for ourselves…

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It still feels so strange to say this, but the joy it brings me far outweighs the challenges before us, “I love you my princess, thank you for being my wish made real.”