It’s day three of the wacky ho-down that is my family’s semi-annual family reunion, and soon I’ll head down for the formal banquet.  Earlier today we had the “house of cousins” meeting (because for a family this large, you have to have your own representative governing bodies) which ended with a rather in-depth discussion of the making of leftse (it’s a Norwegian thing) which has inspired me to take up my family’s ethnic cooking when I get home.

I’ve walked on the beach, explored the local shops (and thank you, Scomerican Girl, the cheese popcorn really was as good as advertised), played 36 holes of golf (damn does my back ache), and I’ve talked for hours with people I used to see daily but now only see once every couple of years, at best.

So, I thought I’d share a certain revelation I’ve had in the last couple of days or so.  If you don’t watch “The Big Bang Theory” on television, this whole post is gonna be kinda meaningless…so…sorry about that.

Anyway, I realized that no matter how much I might want to be Leonard, I’m actually Sheldon.

Unfortunately, I’m serious.  In this, the trial of public perception, I (serving as both the prosecution AND the defense) would like to present to following evidence:

Exhibit A) My Comment on When is this lady gonna stop writing about her kid?

Notice how the conversation actually had NOTHING to do with quarks or leptons?  Yep…my inner geek/nerd overrides all things.

Exhibit B) My Comment on I got married to the widow next door…

Yeah, my collegiate focus was actually on History and Literature (I was an Anthropology/Archaeology major who wanted a minor in classical lit)…and Art (at one point I was a declared Fine Art major who took all the art history classes).  I do have 48 credits in upper-level computer classes…but that was stuff I did for fun.  I also took two 300 series physics classes “for fun” so that should explain a LOT about what was wrong with my past definition of fun.

Exhibit C) My Comment on …but next time, WITH COSTUMES!

This is the place where I admit to owning action figures and explain some background to the correlation of the visual design of Storm Trooper armor to Boba Fett’s Mandalorian armor.

Yes, I have camped out to buy tickets to a Star Wars movie.  More than once.

Yes, I have quoted a Star Wars movie in a professional setting.  More than once.

Yes, I have corrected someone else’s example-by-metaphor because they misstated a basic function of physics (the earth’s rotation does NOT create gravity, and please DON’T claim that it does in a room full of professionals…because I will call you on it, and that won’t help your presentation AT ALL). Sadly, also more than once. For the same person.

I now suspect that I am actually insufferably annoying.  I suspect that I am Sheldon and I just didn’t see it before now.  I always assume that if someone is saying something inaccurate, then they would WANT to know that what they were saying was, in fact, wrong.

After a few episodes of TBBT I now suspect that it might be ever so slightly possible that they, in fact, do NOT want to be corrected.

When I watch TBBT I always see myself in Leonard’s shoes.  Geeky, intelligent, perhaps a bit overzealous in some area’s, but all-in-all a good guy who just needs some polishing.

I’m now listening to stories about myself from ten years ago or more…and I’m not hearing Leonard…I’m hearing Sheldon. Blunt, abrupt, unapologetically smarter than other people, and without the social grace to just shut up and smile smugly while nodding my head.  This makes me sad, and a bit embarrassed.

Suddenly, I’m afraid I’m “that guy” or at least that I’ve been “that guy” for long stretches in the past.

If there’s any bright side to all of this…a sort of silver lining perhaps…it’s that several times this weekend I’ve been told how much mellower and more personable I am compared to times past.

So maybe, just maybe, I have some hope of being Leonard after all…